The Huge Crust Crack. AKA ...

... The Grand Canyon.

That's why I have not been tasked with naming things. Children, be thankful for your mother, or you might be going by "Mercedes" or "Banjo Bongo" or "Wittle Fwuit Woop" right now.

But, about that huge crust crack ... attached are pictures of our vacation in October. I decided to just attach a whole bunch of them. Enjoy!

I have many more photos than this, which I hope to have available on my Plex server, soon.

Badger Hair Day

Enoch has learned from his older brothers (especially Andrew, who is very fastidious about his dress and grooming) to comb his hair before going out. He carefully combs his hair, and applies hairspray.

So, how does this happen?

A Ghost Walks Into A Bar ...

... because that's where they serve spirits.

That's a DVB original!

Here's a couple of Halloween bartender jokes I found that, put together with a bit of modification, I thought we funny: 

• A skeleton walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says, “I’ll have a beer. And a mop.”
• Another skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I won't serve your kind anymore. You can’t hold your liquor."

I saw Gideon and Regan dressed up like the Little Rascals' Alfalfa and Darla (which was charming to the max), and I thought I'd share some of our halloween misfits outfits this year.

Keepin' Up with the Benges

How are you supposed to keep up with the Jones' when you can't even keep up with your very own blog?

I have some notes and photos out there, if you are interested. But, I don't have our anniversary trip, or anything on our son's weddings.

I can already hear you ask, "How can you take time to blog about a whiteboard drawing or misspelled words on the back of a van, but ignore important things you should put on your blog?"

It's elementary, my dear Watson (or Watdaughter, or Watever): simple things are much easier to put together than important things. Sorry about that.

September 6th: Beautiful Morning Warning

Photos can rarely capture nature's beauty. Especially camera phones. But on September 6th I tried. It was a red sky in the morning, where I believe sailors should take warning. It was red to the East, and red with a double rainbow to the West. I thought it was spectacular.

(Sailor's warning: some pictures are very blurry, and I don't think any of them convey the beauty I saw.)

Of Good Report and Praiseworthy

I get accustomed to my children being pretty awesome. I think I often miss things that are of good report and praiseworthy. Here are some recent ones.

The Wise Fool

In a previous post, I shared the school picture from my 1985-1986 Dixie College yearbook. My sophomore photo is much better, I think:

I will spare you other photos from the yearbook. Besides, I didn't try out for Mr. Dixie when I got back, so there isn't too much to show how dorky I was. I still was dorky. I fear I still am dorky.

Just this one row of photos brings back great memories. 

The Frosh

As I started typing up a blog entry about Peter Johnson, I wanted to look at my Dixie College yearbook. I had forgotten the names of many of the people I studied with and served with and loved, and wanted to see what memories I could refresh. I needed more than a refresher of names! If interested, read on. But, be warned: because of my proximity to some pretty neat people, I may look cooler than I really am. Everything that makes me look dorky is accurate.

Conference Close to Home

We really enjoyed General conference. There are many more changes to figure outRarely do I know the speakers in General Conference, or know anybody they talk about in their stories. I know F. Michael Watson and Brook Hales because they became seventies after I worked with them as secretaries to the First Presidency, so I enjoyed listening to them as I knew them and loved them. 

This last conference, though, brought things a little closer to home. Both occurred in the last session. 

Perspective

A friend of mine posted this a few months ago. I've never thought about this from the lemons' perspective:

My Deck Goes Down, My Deck Goes Up

April 28, 2019: I must have forgotten to take pictures of our crumbling deck underneath. I did take some pictures of Psycho Robin this spring, after he came back to smash his face into the basement window near my desk. Strangest bird ever. Sing with me!

♫♫ 

Psycho robin (tweet-tweet-tweet),

Psyche-psyche-psycho robin (tweet-tweedilly-tweet)

Go psycho robin 'cause you're drivin' me nuts tonight (tweet-tweedilly-tweet) ...

"A" Minus for Spelling

The sliding door seems to get the name of the company right, but the name on the back doors is what I noticed first. Gross:

Deer of the Dead

On October 9th, I arrived early for our annual multi-department tech conference at the institute building at the University of Utah. Right across the street from the football stadium is a cemetery, and I decided to take a few minutes to check it out.

It was beautiful. But, I was surprised to meet a half dozen deer:

Brakes and Rotors

I went to Jiffy Lube to have the front brakes done on the big van, and they informed me that my rotors were worn, which I suspected: things were wobbling a bit, and I noticed that the rotors were pitted.

So, I called a local shop and they quoted me about $1000 to get it done. Yikes. So, I figured I would try it myself and save about $750. I think it was worth it, but it was a pain.

More Mis

I realized I had less Mis (ha ha! get it?) pictures than I thought, because I haven't added any of Miriam and Andrew in their most recent show of Les Miserables. So, let's add more Mis! By the way, they both did an amazing job. 

Otter Pops

The Otter Pops is the self proclaimed nom de guerre of Joshua's flag football team this year. They only won a single football game, but were very close in several games. And, best of all, they seemed to have fun.

Back row, L to R: David, Owen, Joshua, Jackson. Front row: Coach Flinders, Brock,Corbin,Dallin,Gus. Not pictured: Caleb, McKean.

I took the photo, which makes me Otter Pop Paparazzi. Which would be a great name for a rock band.

So THAT's Why I Was Late This Morning

Traffic was really, really slow this morning. Eventually, I saw emergency vehicles, a wrecked car on a hill and a stopped FrontRunner train. But I couldn't tell what had happened.

Well, this happened: https://twitter.com/UTHighwayPatrol/status/1184492566307229697?s=20

Amazing. Apparently, the driver of the car passed out for some reason and was still out as Trooper Correa pulled him from the car.

God bless Trooper Correa.

The Perfect Logo

I have so many photos and stories I think I should share, but every time I sit down at my computer I think "I have been this all day. Instead, I think I will ___________." ... and I fill in the blank with alternatives that I find preferrable ("randomly yell at everybody", "run with scissors", "see how many bruises I get skipping through the house with a blindfold on", "bury myself up to the neck near an ant hill and pour honey on my head", etc.

I promise that, one day, I will repent and share things that ought to be shared.

But, in the meantime, I cracked myself up at work and just had to share it.

Valley Guy Paul, the Apostle, and More

I am way, way behind in things I have wanted to send. Lately, in the evening, the last thing I want to do is turn my computer back on. 

First, to Regan and Sam: Ladies, I am now including you in my super-duper important (feel free to roll your eyes here) family news emails. If you don't want to be included in my email updates, just let me know. Much of what I send I include on my blog.

1. At the dinner table, Enoch asked Susie if it was true that she had a "baby die in her tummy". I think Susie miscarried four times during our marriage, and one was relatively late-term. So, yes she did, and Susie replied to Enoch in the affirmative.

Enoch then asked another question, "Was it Lucy?" 

The Greatest Singer in the World

Years ago, Isaac and I were privileged to attend a Christmas concert with the Tabernacle Choir. We found out the guest soloist was Sissel. We had never heard of her. And after we left I believed that she was the best vocal musician in the world. (She and the choir were nominated for a Grammy for that performance.)

Some of you may know this, but she is back for a Pioneer Day concert with the Tabernacle Choir tomorrow. Tickets are gone, and I don't think I will try to wait around to get stand-by tickets, but it bet it is worth watching and, especially, listening to. The link indicates that it will be available from tabchoir.org/pioneerday, YouTube and Facebook, but not BYUTV, which is kind of pain. But I bet it is worth it!

This is about her, and it is interesting, too.

Love ya!

Something on My Mind

I still have oodles of photos and things I want to share with you, but I friend shared this with me (from Linked In) and I thought I would share it with you, along with some brief thoughts from me.  Ray Dalio:

Worth Admiration

This is something you have probably already seen, but I saw it today and thought I'd share it (since I never seem to get around to sharing photos and updates at home):

I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like I don't "have it together" like some of the general authorities of the Church or other famous people. In some ways, I don't.

But, I know that I admire those who have successfully made it through trials, not those with the absence of them.

I thought the video was a timely reminder. Love y'all!

Latter-day Saints Saints

A while ago I sent out some football factoids "For BYU Fans Only". This next little tidbit might be for New Orleans Saints fans only. It is not important, and probably not even fascinating to anyone but me.

I am now a New Orleans Saints fan. I like the way they play. I like Drew Brees as a quarterback, and was especially impressed as I listened to him talk about his family and how he teaches his sons to be good people. And, of course, I loved watching Taysom Hill play last year.

This year, the Saints picked up free-agent Corbin Kaufusi from BYU and returned-missionary Chase Hansen out of Utah. I hope both can find a spot with the team. They also signed a contract with Porter Gustin out of Salem Hills High School. I don't know if he is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ or not, but it is cool that he is from Utah. (In college he played for USC.)

I didn't realize that Taysom's older brother, Josh, has played Tight End for the Saints since 2013, so this will be his 7th season with the team. He played his college ball at Idaho State. Very cool.

Ended Up or Up Ending

Not that it matters, but my monthly allotment of data for May ended a bit ago, and here is where I am at:

I used about about 1.4 terabytes of data in April. Xfinity informs me that 1 terabyte of data is enough to:

April and May Gifts

The weather brought the gift of precipitation in April and May. We had other gifts as well.

Starting April Fool's Day, Esther decided that most of the rooms in the house needed a name. Here is what she came up with:

The Cool Mistake Cabin? I don't get it, but I love it!

For Mom's birthday, we had almost everybody home. It was a treat to have both of the boys' fiances with us, too. The gift of these wonderful ladies added to our family are joyous:

How to (Almost) Replace the Draft Inducer Motor on a Coleman Furnace

Just a few minutes ago, Miriam was throwing one of her signature fits about a school writing assignment because she said she could understand what the request was. ("If you understand it, then YOU write it!", she screamed at Susan.)

And I thought, "I am excellent at writing about things I know nothing about!" I will now do that.

Just after midnight the other night, Susan and I were awakened by a very loud noise in the furnace. It sounded like a rat was shooting something in the basement with a mini Gatling gun. Yikes.

I thought it was the blower motor, but the next morning I could the problem was in a motor  that rests in the little compartment above the blower motor and where some of the furnace parts are and where many of the components are accessible.

Guess Who's Back?

Our psychotic bird friend from Hades!

Straining At Digital Gnats. Or Swallowing Digital Camels.

There's an appropriate analogy in there somewhere.

I just realized I haven't sent any pictures or updates of Lucy in the musical, or Easter fun, or the Passover feast we did this year, etc.

It all started when Regan asked me to find pictures of Gideon, and I wanted a couple of small video clips. Which led me back to wanting a way to find this info, much of which is on my old NAS box in the furnace room. Which has been dying and having a hard time working, and is really slow. So, my video needs to be saved to Dropbox or some other storage. So I need to collate and correlate all my repositories. Which means I also need to be able to share them. Which leads me to the fact that I don't have enough space on my laptop. So I need to save them to another computer--or another NAS box: (NAS stands for "Network Attached Storage", FYI, BIULA, which I just made up, "Because I Use a Lot of Acronyms"). Which leads to our two home computers that are disastrously slow for some reason.

Andrew Sings at General Conference

On April 6th, Andrew had the privilege to sing during the priesthood session of General Conference, as a member of a choir from the Layton area. It was a good experience for him, and I enjoyed seeing him and others from our ward and stake.

Because of his location, Andrew (and fellow ward member and friend Luke McCune) ended up on camera quite a bit. With the exception of the last two photos, which were taken with my camera, all the photos here are screen shots from the broadcast. Once the singing started, by phone started buzzing with texts from friends and family, recognizing Andrew!

Andrew was near the organ, and there is a cameraman there who alternately records the organists and nearby choir members. I suspect that is why Andrew ended up with so much screen time. I was on the lower level, off to the right, near the wall and on almost the last row. I barely made it, after heading to Central Davis Junior High to help with some last minute work on the set.

Luck O' the Enoch

For St. Patrick's Day, Enoch wrote down four things that make him lucky on a four-leaf clover. Here they, with some spelling errors fixed:

1. I am strong.
2. I have two pianos.
3. I can play the piano.
4. I can move on my back without using hands.

Proof:

Sneak Peek of General Conference. Sort Of.

The video is very shaky. I found David Ellis and some other young men from our stake, but I can't find Andrew in this video. He is in there somewhere, though, with new black suit.

 20190331_200234.mp4

He will be singing during the priesthood session of conference. Watch for him.

2011: Almost There

I hadn't seen this family photo for a while and it made me smile big time. We were all just waiting for Esther to join us.

Sorry. No Bouncing on the Chram-aaling Today

I woke up to this:

Come Bounce

A napkin named Lucy and her pleased parents cordially invite you to watch her sing and dance. Lucy performs on April 11, 13 and 19.

An E-Flat Walks into a Bar ...

... and the bartender says "we don't serve minors in here."

Ba-da, bum.

Saturday was another remarkably busy day, as Joshua had a friend beg him to join a three-on-three tournament, I had set building, Andrew and Miriam had rehearsal, Andrew had work, and I think Jill's husband's viewing was that day, too. I did some home repairs and then Susie and I drove all around trying to get some "tree fingerprints" for her parents 50th wedding anniversary. 

Joshua's team got slaughtered four times. Most three-on-three teams are comprised of the "Comp Team" kids who pay $3000+ to play competitively all year. I only watched one game, but it wasn't pretty. However, one of the parents said he was really proud of Joshua, especially during the last game. He even scored a few points on these mini-pros!

Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary!

To celebrate Grandma & Grandpa Nielson's 50th wedding anniversary, the Benge Family made this super sober video. (At the time of this sending, the video was only 5% loaded. But I trust it will be there tomorrow.)

Today

Today:

• Miriam and Andrew had their first rehearsal for Les Miserable this morning. I was surprised they even had one, as the owner of Jaks Youth Theatre Company and the show director's husband died of a heart attack Friday.
• Lucy went to Draper to attend a percussion festival. She played timpani, and saw some great performances.

The Arts

Tonight was Lucy's band concert. Here she is getting ready (one day you'd think Susie or I would remember our camera so we could get a decent picture):

Esther's Art

A panda bear. Miriam drew the bamboo stalk.

Sam and Isaac Sitting in a Tree ...

Yesterday:

Ew!

Right Here in River City

That's a dumb title. I am addressing nothing that starts with "T" and that rhymes with "P" and that stands for "Pool".

This made me happy. We live in a good place. Good Morning America wasn't the only place that showed the video.

Also, I have forgotten to report on Rachel's latest adventure and accomplishment, and thought you should know:

Home Ownership Update

Our roof leak is prospering:

Right now, it is going at a rate of about 4 drips per second into the bucket. Some water is also dripping on the ledge, so I have pan and towel up there. Lots of roof pieces are joining the cascade.

"A Guy with Jumper Cables Walks into a Bar ..."

... and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, don't you try to start anything in here!"

I bet you thought I was done with bartender jokes.

I am sending this to let you know I finally added some pictures of our June Benge family reunion, the April Nielson family reunion, and a few pictures of Andrew and Lucy and weird things me with a bionic arm during practice and performance of Once Upon a Mattress.

Just in case you are interested.

I also thought I would share a few photos.

I Don't Know How This Will Affect You ...

... but it will affect me a great deal in the coming days. We have received the official announcement that the domain name for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be changing from "lds.org" and "ldschurch.org" to "ChurchofJesusChrist.org".

For me, many links and work products will be moving, as will my work email address. I bet there are website disruptions and some pain as we reset much of what we do. But, I am glad we are doing it!

On the announcement I received this morning, this reminder of promised blessings from President Nelson's recent conference address was shared:  

"If we will be patient and do our part well, the Lord will lead us through this important task… I promise you that if we will do our best to restore the correct name of the Lord's Church, He whose Church this is will pour down His power and blessings…, the likes of which we have never seen."

Benge Family Reunion (June 2018)

The view from our lodge.

Nielson Reunion at Bear Lake (March 2018)

I didn't post any pictures of our Nielson family reunion last year either. I want some of the photos on the blog. Good times!

At Beck Locey's cabin rental.

Once Upon A Mattress (March 2018)

Last year, I only posted a few rehearsal pictures of Central Davis Junior High's production of Once Upon A Mattress. That is partly because I don't have many good pictures. But, I figured I better put a few here.

Andrew was very funny and had a good time as the Wizard. Lucy had a good time time too as an unnamed cast member (she is in the red skirt).

Unimportant Things I Really Like

1. Here is a photo Isaac took of Esther with his new phone that has a nice feature that makes photos look more professional. Very nice.

2. Both Isaac and Gideon and their young lady friends dropped by Saturday. Thanks, men! Always good to see you! Whenever I do, I think I should visit my parents more often. And then I change nothing.

The Queen and the Prince

Last night, Rachel played Queen Elizabeth and Joshua played a Prince in the Spectrum Shakespeare production. Everyone gets involved: there dancers and magicians and puppeteers for the green show, and there stage crew and musicians for the Shakespearean drama besides the actors.

I thought everyone did a really good job this year, and I was very impressed with Rachel and Joshua, as both not only knew their lines but revealed themselves to be talented actors as well.

We forgot to bring our camera as usual, so I don't have any good photos of the production. Someone put together a nice video slide show of practices and some performance shots, but it isn't very high quality, either.

So, here I will attach what I copied from the slideshow and the best photos I took with my phone, in case Rachel and Joshua want some of these photos. If they have access to better quality ones, I hope they will let me know!

Carpet Diem, Part III

We have wall to wall carpet coverage! And more!

Valentine's Better Down Where It's Wetter, Take It from Me

February 17th was our annual Valentine's Day celebration. The family always surprises me by taking me somewhere out of the ordinary.

This year, we partied under the sea.

A clownfish clowning around with the local sea critters.

Little Mergirl

Below are some poor pics from the Jaks production of The Little Mermaid, performed in the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center in Salt Lake City.

Heave, ho!

Three Simple Steps to Level Floor Nirvana

Step 1: Do this. 

(I think I forgot to mention that I had problems with the two-by-four I was using so I grabbed a handle-less hoe I had around and used it as a trowel. I am just like MacGyver!)

Step 2: Put a gallon of adhesive/primer on your floor where you will apply the self-leveling concrete and spread it around until you realize that you are just a little bit short, then run to home depot and buy something that looks similar and hope it works the same as the stuff you bought from the professionals. Oh, and don't forget to tape a box to the wall where water and ceiling parts are falling on the floor because of your leaky roof!

Step 3: Have your friend, Ramsey, do all the skill work while you hand him buckets of concrete mix until you feel like you are going to die.

How to Write Good

I've seen the "How to Write Good" list in a couple different forms a few times, and I laugh every time I see one. My uncle Lynn shared a list of ten just a little while ago, and it was great, but there are other lists that have some great stuff too. 

Therefore, I thought I would come up with my own list, feeling free to plagiarize, enhance, modify and even come up with some of my own, as I saw fit.

And so, here is my super-authoritative list of thirty things to do or not to do to become a better writer--a.k.a., How to Write Good:

First-World Whining

I like going places. I often don't want to stay too long, but I like exploring and learning. So, I sometimes find myself mildly complaining, for instance, that my trip to Boston was too short and I couldn't travel the coast to main, or that my boss didn't want me to go to a training again (I was scheduled for a SQL Server conference in Orlando last year). Waa waa waa.

The other day I got an email with a super brief summary of my whereabouts since 2014. Another modern first-world complaint is often the result: our data is everywhere, and real privacy is ever so difficult.

But when I looked at the map, I thought "for a guy who doesn't travel much, I sure have been to a lot of places!" 

Esther Sunday

I shared a brief post of Esther's birthday party Sunday. I thought I would also share a couple of things she did at church the week before. These are IMPORTANT THINGS!

First, during the sacrament, Esther let out a massive, reverberating belch, immediately followed by loud giggling. It was pretty awesome.

Later, she asked me if she could bear her testimony. I don't encourage young children to do that, but don't want to tell them they shouldn't, so I usually just ask if they have an idea of what they want to say -- and if they don't, I encourage them to think about it.

Well, Esther had something very specific in mind: "I want to say that the Easter bunny is real."

Um ...

Feb. 11-17, John 2-4 "Ye Must Be Born Again"

This is the personal and family study for the week. Mom has some assignments for a some of us. Would you please these three chapters this week and share what you learned in our family study on Sunday? This includes those of you older children who may be with us on the Sabbath! Is there a way to include you in the future even when you aren't here?

Here are a few questions we might want to explore:

• John tells of the Savior turning water into wine. When Jesus was in the wilderness, he was tempted to turn stones into bread, but he refused. Later, he multiplies 5 loaves of bread and two fishes to feed a multitude. Why is it appropriate for the savior to miraculously produce or change food sometimes, but not at others, and how are these situations different and how are they the same?
• How is "living water" a good analogy to use for teaching about the Savior and eternal life?
• The Savior uses many simple, everyday things for teaching gospel principles: birth, water, bread, farming, etc. Why?

Food for thought (which is a fine analogy as well) ...

--

David V. Benge

Esther and Oona

We cerebrated Esther's 6th birthday tonight, so Miriam could be with us. Her favorite gift is an ostrich Grandma Mary gave her, which we have dubbed Oona.

Its Like Moving to a New House ... Without the New House

I started Round One with concrete. I lost.

Self-leveling cement should not be more than 2 inches thick, but we have almost four inches to fill at the deepest point. My idea, then, was to put a layer of some kind down that could have self-leveling cement poured over the top. I asked a construction contractor in the ward who contacted a concrete franchise in Ogden and they agreed it would work with the right materials. 

I ordered 6 bags of PatchCrete and went to work on the first layer, and ... I am absolutely awful at concrete work. PatchCrete is weird stuff. A 45 lbs. bag is mixed with a gallon of some kind of glue that looks like milk, and you mix it up fast and then spread the peanutbutter-like stuff. I did a poor job, but it is just added base so I figure it mattereth not.

Carpet Diem II

The wall and the flood behind it is fixed.

Pulled Beef, Fowl Flesh & the Joys of Home Ownership

1. Yesterday, Esther went out on the deck and hurried back in, shivering, and said "I got ..." followed by a pause, and then "goose bumps." And then she started laughing, and exclaimed, "I almost said 'chicken pox!'"

Nice catch!

2. Awhile ago Hannah was talking to Susan and I, and she suddenly stopped and said, "Dad! I have a beef to pull with you!"

That is unintentional genius. Does she have a "bone to pick" or just a "beef" with something? No, she has a "beef to pull". I love it! It was very reminiscent of when Susie told me how people kept interrupting her breakfast so she "couldn't get a bite in edge-word". Neither phrase makes one iota of sense, and yet I understand exactly what is meant. Genius.

3. Update on the homefront (and roof and basement): the leak in the basement has been resolved. Huzzah! I plan to do the cement work a week from Friday. The leaky roof, according to a roofer, needs to be redone and will cost at least $6000: I understand what he was saying and he is probably right, but can't we do something silly that works for a few hundred? Another roofer should be coming today.

Do You Favor Fire or Is Ice Nice?

Just before Christmas, Miriam did some pretty cool make-up on herself and Lucy. I took a few pictures. One of them I took with a clouded sun directly behind them, just for the halibut. And I really like the photo! I think it looks terrific:

A Dog Walks into a Bar ...

... and asks for a job.

"Why don't you try the circus?" The bartender asks?

The dog replies, "Why would the circus need a bartender?"

You're welcome!

I just have a longer bar joke I wanted to share with you.

Bargain Basement, Part II

Before cutting up Lucy and Rachel's wall, I have been making plans to level the basement floor in the downstairs family room. Working with Jeff Stringham, I now have a two part plan to add a layer of cement in the lowest parts (more than an inch or so thick), and then add an inch to an inch and a half of quick-set, self-leveling cement on top of that over the entire south side of the room. The slope has always bugged me: we couldn't use the ping pong table down there, and the table and chairs are always crooked.

At least it doesn't leak in there. (Although we have developed a leak around one of the skylights above it. Another leak to fix!) I know it doesn't leak because we tore out the carpet. Here is what we found:

Bargain Basement Part I

Our carpet is on hold as we having some water still in the corner of the two East basement bedrooms. It ain't much. But, years ago we had a company dig a trench along much of that East wall to collect run-off and then pump the water out, so we aren't sure why we have any water there. They came out yesterday and he asked me to tear out some wall to see what's going on.  

Last night after taking Esther to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese (a.k.a., Vegas for children) and then picking up Joshua after his basketball practice, I went after the wall in the SE corner.

I think I found the problem. The wood from a 2X4 was drenched, just above where it attached to 2X2 at a "T". They are there for drywall attachment. There was especially a long screw through the 2X4 into the cement, and I think it was a main conduit: the screw hole is right above a cracked knot, and that area was saturated. I think the water then drips down from the wood, which is past the drain edge against the wall, and it then slowing moves to the low point between the rooms.

As you can see, the wood is very rotten, and everything was damp days after our big rain storm.

For BYU Football Fans Only

Mark Twain popularized the phrase "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." I will now use some recent statistics in the AFC and NFC championship games that prove ... nothing about BYU football. But I thought it was cool.

First, Joshua and I have been cheering for the New Orleans Saints a lot this year, mostly because Taysom Hill is a phenomenal do-everything player. He throws. He catches. He runs. He blocks punts. He returns kickoffs. He even pancakes defenders when he plays at the tight-end position and blocks for other running backs, which is impressive to watch. Even though the Saints lost Sunday, Taysom Hill had a two-yard TD reception. Way to go, Taysom!

In the next game featuring the Kansas City Chiefs vs. the New England Patriots, the leading tackler for both teams were former BYU players.

Use the Whole Thing

Hey-ya, keeds!

Check out your 2nd cousin's talent-show performance. He wrote the tune:

https://www.facebook.com/sharlee.bates/videos/1596783690555440/UzpfSTEwMDAwNjcxNDcyODAzNjoyMzcyNTQ4NTQyOTc4OTQ3/

Like our ancestors learned to use every bit of any animal they slaughtered, he has learned how to use the whole thing.

I don't know what the tune is called. Maybe "Whole E. Cow"?

Super Blood Wolf Girl

"Super Blood Wolf Moon". Silly. I can think of lots of names cooler than that. How about "Spider Bark Toot Moon"? "Rabid Dog Spank Moon"? Oh well.

Or, how about a superbabe called Super Blood Wolf Girl! Here she is!

Fwd: Rome Italy Temple (2)

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Isaac Benge
Date: Mon, Jan 14, 2019 at 1:04 PM

Baptistry, Bride Room, Celestial Room, Staircase, Visitor Center

Fwd: Rome Italy Temple (1)

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Isaac Benge 
Date: Mon, Jan 14, 2019 at 1:03 PM

They finally released temple photos: here you go

Carpet Diem and Mandrew

The last few days got really busy as Andy Johnston, bless his enormous and wonderful heart, recently offered to install carpet in our home, using rolls of carpet that apartments no longer want. We have carpet installers at our home right now (Carpet Diem!) putting carpet in the living room and the hallway and three bedrooms upstairs. 

[Note: I wrote this yesterday but didn't have time to send it! The carpet upstairs is in!]

I am excited for the carpet, which we really really really need and appreciate. Prepping is a pain, of course. Its a lot like moving to a new home without going anywhere. 

Check out our Family Room. Cozy!

Fortunately, we aren't doing it all at once. I plan two more visits to get it all done.

Possibly Interesting Stuff You Can Learn on Facebook When Not Preparing for Carpet

Without any missionaries out, I am no longer a consistent emailer. I apologize.

I have a post coming all about prepping for new carpet. It will be very exciting. Ha ha! You just caught me guile! But it will have pictures, when my DropBox finishes updating.

In the meantime, I will share about something I found interesting but probably isn't.

The other day, when I was not prepping for carpet, I was looking for and at some Facebook posts of fellow Taiwan Taichung Mission missionaries. Uninterestingly, I find most FB posts uninteresting. You can learn what someone ate for breakfast. You can learn that someone appreciates their spouse or child or parent on their birthday. You can learn that someone went somewhere besides their backyard. You can learn that someone went in their backyard.