How to Write Good

I've seen the "How to Write Good" list in a couple different forms a few times, and I laugh every time I see one. My uncle Lynn shared a list of ten just a little while ago, and it was great, but there are other lists that have some great stuff too. 

Therefore, I thought I would come up with my own list, feeling free to plagiarize, enhance, modify and even come up with some of my own, as I saw fit.

And so, here is my super-authoritative list of thirty things to do or not to do to become a better writer--a.k.a., How to Write Good:

1. A writer must not shift your point of view.
2. Always be sure to finish what you

3. Avoid alliteration, always.
4. Avoid archaeic spellings.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
7. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Eight: Be consistent.
9. Be more or less specific.
10. Always pick on the correct idiom.

11. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

12. Who needs rhetorical questions?

13. Don't never use no double negatives.

14. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

15. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

16. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

17. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos, and will likely cause a mea culpa.

18. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.

19. No sentence fragments.

20. One should never generalize. 

21. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.

22. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

23. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

24. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

25. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; don't repeat yourself; don't say the same thing over and over; it's highly superfluous.

26. Semicolons are ugly; don't use semicolons.

27. The passive voice is to be avoided.

28. "First do no harm" and always cite your sources.

29. Subject and verb always has to agree.

30. Profanity sucks: to Hades with it.