Our Latest Release

I found out this morning that our latest release of the Church History Catalog was mentioned in the Deseret News. Nice!

A Few Pandas Walk Into A Bar ...

Pandamonium ensues.

(Rimshot.) (After sending this as an email, I wonder if I should have titled the email "A Few Black and White Bears Walk into a Bar". Or does that add nothing?)

A bunch of sick pandas would likely result in a Pandamic, but my brain said that was 7.3% less funny.

I found some old notes from way back before the pandemic took over.

1. Enoch was really sick. He got sick again later. If anyone around here got COVID19, it might have been him. He was pretty sick for awhile. He is fine now. Allergies seem to be our biggest problem currently.

2. It off the fly. Susan said that. She had to do something spontaneously (off the cuff) while doing something (on the fly), and so she had to do it "off the fly". I don't know how she does it. I don't know if I could ever come up with something that clever, especially off the fly.

Sprinkler Immersion

Everything takes too long: digging, figuring out what pipe used to connect to what, standing in line at Lowe's every day ... but, I'm getting there!

May 2nd:

Today, May 6th:

Our New-ish Baby

She ain't new, but she is was fully restored, fixed up and I think quite lovely:

I hope we like her. 

I shall call her "Pearl". 'Cause that's her name.

Fwd: Thoughts on cell phones, old age, & a warning to hide your beautiful daughters!

I thought you might enjoy my dad's latest email.

---------- Forwarded message ---------

From: Wes Benge

Just a note to let you know that we are doing okay.  Going a little "modlin", the British equivalent of "stir Crazy."  But that seems normal.  Now, I must forward some cartoons that I felt conveyed some important thoughts:

I am the fellow on the right.

Mellow "Yellow"

Isaac recorded a relaxing version of Coldplay's song "Yellow" on SoundCloud. Very nice. I wonder how things would sound with a nice studio recording.

My cousin, Nathan, has a nice set-up. Here is his daughter singing "Moon River". I don't even know where I could set up a place to record, let alone know where to get some decent stuff. I guess I need to make more money or get rid of few more children!

I hope Hannah can get with him and try doing some of her songs with a decent recording. It would be fun!

Things As They Really Are (or Are Not)

My dad recently shared this bar joke with me, and I loved it:

A time traveling space alien walks into a bar, and says, “I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t get it.”

Some recent non-happenings and happenings:

• I believe the Northridge High School production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers should be underway now. Mrs. Coates is instructing everyone to be ready to perform it in the summer. Hmmm. Maybe. This announcement freaked Andrew out, but he had a good chat with her and will likely not be part of the production in summer, as he has other priorities.

COVID-19 Meetings

This made me laugh. Why are online meetings so awkward?

Quaking

Note: this was sent originally as an email to family this morning, all of which were already aware of the earthquake. I forget to set my alarm properly, so the earthquake woke me up after seven this morning, as our house shook back and forth and our bed and doors and other things all made noises!

In case you are interested, I looked at the USGS (United States Geological Survey) this morning. (I'm sure some of you already have!)

As you can see from the key, the size of the circle shows the magnitude of the quake, and the colors show how recent. The blue means I clicked on it for more information, so the blue dot on the map is Magna's 5.7 magnitude earthquake:

"Hanging by a Shoelace" or "Tied Up in an Emergency"

I went to the Neighborhood Walmart last night. Susan always buys milk on Saturday, but when I got home the realization hit that the recent run on supplies might make that difficult. So, I volunteered to go. Besides, I enjoy watching train wrecks, tornadoes, WWII bombings, and other devastation.

Milk was gone ... except for the 1%. It was low, but there was 1% milk to be had. Maybe they had extra 1% milk? Or, is it not a cool thing to buy when grabbing emergency supplies?

This morning, I filled up the car and also went through a McDonald's drive-thru and asked for a coronavirus-free sausage muffin and drink. The lady taking my order laughed. Traffic was light, so I stopped at the big Walmart near my Riverton Office Building to get the oil changed. I walked in and asked for coronavirus-free oil. The attendant smiled and told me he had some. Things were looking good!

I went in to the store while I waited. The sliced bread shelf and the canned goods were ransacked and gone. I wandered over to the bakery. All of those bread products were plentiful.

Because of this, and my 1% milk experience, I started making mental notes of what is needed for an emergency and what is not. I know this is not scientific. It is just kind of fascinating. My conclusion: sliced bread is a necessity, rolls and buns and muffins (and donuts) are not.

Significant Digits

Happy Palindrome Date Day! Or whatever we should call it. 02022020 is pretty neat. You all probably prepared for it. I didn't. Instead, it snuck up on me. I noticed it's shadow and went back into my hole. And now I am trying to prepare myself mentally for snow tomorrow.

Here is something neat that Enoch drew during sacrament meeting today that I liked:

Position Deux Jour

My father sent the following response to my "Position Du Jour" (I think I shall call it "Position Deux Jour", which really doesn't make any sense.) 

I thought it was hilarious:

I could have been a k-12 Prevention co-ordinator.  However, I am so old fashioned, I spell coordinator with a dash.  I "red" a sports article recently where the writer (Deseret News) used the word "lead" five times as the past tense of "lead."  I think he has been misled (or is it mislead) about the quirks in English.  Incidentally, my former superintendent made a presentation to the district's entire teaching staff, using the word "misled", twice.  The word was on a large white board.  He pronounced the word "mizzled" both times.  No one seemed to notice.

Position Du Jour

This may be my favorite title for an employee ever:

She works for the Davis School District. Talk about putting yourself out of a job!

Of course, she is actually over a crisis team that tries to prevent suicides. 

The Huge Crust Crack. AKA ...

... The Grand Canyon.

That's why I have not been tasked with naming things. Children, be thankful for your mother, or you might be going by "Mercedes" or "Banjo Bongo" or "Wittle Fwuit Woop" right now.

But, about that huge crust crack ... attached are pictures of our vacation in October. I decided to just attach a whole bunch of them. Enjoy!

I have many more photos than this, which I hope to have available on my Plex server, soon.

Badger Hair Day

Enoch has learned from his older brothers (especially Andrew, who is very fastidious about his dress and grooming) to comb his hair before going out. He carefully combs his hair, and applies hairspray.

So, how does this happen?

A Ghost Walks Into A Bar ...

... because that's where they serve spirits.

That's a DVB original!

Here's a couple of Halloween bartender jokes I found that, put together with a bit of modification, I thought we funny: 

• A skeleton walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says, “I’ll have a beer. And a mop.”
• Another skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I won't serve your kind anymore. You can’t hold your liquor."

I saw Gideon and Regan dressed up like the Little Rascals' Alfalfa and Darla (which was charming to the max), and I thought I'd share some of our halloween misfits outfits this year.

Keepin' Up with the Benges

How are you supposed to keep up with the Jones' when you can't even keep up with your very own blog?

I have some notes and photos out there, if you are interested. But, I don't have our anniversary trip, or anything on our son's weddings.

I can already hear you ask, "How can you take time to blog about a whiteboard drawing or misspelled words on the back of a van, but ignore important things you should put on your blog?"

It's elementary, my dear Watson (or Watdaughter, or Watever): simple things are much easier to put together than important things. Sorry about that.

September 6th: Beautiful Morning Warning

Photos can rarely capture nature's beauty. Especially camera phones. But on September 6th I tried. It was a red sky in the morning, where I believe sailors should take warning. It was red to the East, and red with a double rainbow to the West. I thought it was spectacular.

(Sailor's warning: some pictures are very blurry, and I don't think any of them convey the beauty I saw.)

Of Good Report and Praiseworthy

I get accustomed to my children being pretty awesome. I think I often miss things that are of good report and praiseworthy. Here are some recent ones.

The Wise Fool

In a previous post, I shared the school picture from my 1985-1986 Dixie College yearbook. My sophomore photo is much better, I think:

I will spare you other photos from the yearbook. Besides, I didn't try out for Mr. Dixie when I got back, so there isn't too much to show how dorky I was. I still was dorky. I fear I still am dorky.

Just this one row of photos brings back great memories.