A Perfect Summer's Day

Last Saturday was pretty darn near perfect: the temperature was cooler than normal, the bees were buzzing, the birds were singing, and the lawnmower was broken.

Well, not exactly broken. Andrew wanted to give it a tune-up. So, while I worked on Miriam's car, Andrew worked on the lawnmower (rather than mow the lawn ... hmmmmmmm).

We found the gasket does need replacing, and I bought a new spark plug, too. When it arrives, I expect my mowers to get back to work!

Bear Necessities

Joshua is on to the bears. I think. 

Who's Your Daddy?

I have another watching assignment. This is only 30 seconds long. After watching, I began to doubt whether Andrew is my son or not. He may be the offspring of Ron Swanson.

Whether he is or not, though, I am proud of him.

A Watching Assignment. And, "A Guy Breathing the Air From a Helium Balloon Once Walked into a Bar."

"He spoke very highly of it."

Thank Isaac for that one! He texted me the short joke and I thought "I bet I can turn that into a lame 'walked into a bar' joke! I was correct!

I have a short, five-minute video I think you might want to watch. I can't vouch for Dr. Dispenza's overall works or anything, but this rang true to me. 

Twenty-five

Twenty-five years ago today Susan Lois Nielson took a leap of faith and was sealed to me in the Manti Temple. She looked beautiful that day. I think she is more beautiful now.

This morning, I hadn't paid attention to the date. A radio personality mentioned that it was the 21st, and reflected on the great blessings that have flowed into my life since we have been together. It is mind-boggling!

I have another busy day today, but wanted to share one brief experience early in our married life that led me to realize I had hit the jack-pot.

Fwd: A new shoulder

Update with good news: my mother's surgery is done and it looks like all went well. Thank you for your prayers.

From: Wesley Benge
Date: Fri, Aug 17, 2018 at 1:56 PM
Subject: A new shoulder

My beloved wife, your mother Ruth, received a call Thursday afternoon about 6 PM, telling her to report to surgery this morning at 5:15 AM.  We showed up, a very efficient nurse helped her prepare.  The surgeon, Dr. Mortensen, came at about 7:15 and she entered pre-op.

Sure. Maybe One Day.

Think this will happen while Grandma Benge is having surgery on her shoulder? Somehow, I imagine not.

Horse Power (and Other Animal Powers)

To many of you I forwarded text messages today: my mother is having shoulder surgery tomorrow, and Uncle Ben fell off a horse doing some training and messed up his back. Your prayers are appreciated.

I sent this to Kristin today:

Send Ben my best. Also, let him know that doing trainings on a horse is a bad idea. Last time I tried it, I couldn't keep my laptop connected to the projector. And, my laser pointer was just all over the place (I could have blinded someone.) And then the custodial staff chewed me out about the feces on the conference room floor. I won't do it again!  

I'm not very helpful, am I?

Speaking of destructive horsepower: Miriam bought a car yesterday! Yay. I think.

Chinese Cryptography

A while back I posted a photo of the most interesting fortune cookie "fortune" I had ever read. I have fantasized about creating fortunes that are strangely specific, just to freak someone out every once in a while: "The man wearing a hat to your left knows something you need to know; talk to him before he leaves."; "The woman behind you in the red dress wants your husband for herself."; etc.

Could the "rubber bands" fortune be targeting some demographic? People with orthodontia? Ryan Shupe followers?

But this one that I got yesterday ... well, I just don't know:

X-Ray! X-Ray! Read All About It!

Esther's x-ray came up negative today. Her foot is still very sore, but the doctor cannot find any kind of fracture. Yay! (That is a preliminary "Yay!", perhaps.)

Of Broken Cars, Dryers and Feet

Let's start at the feet.

Two days ago, Rachel thought it would be awesome to put Esther on top of the exercise ball. Which was on top of the futon mattress. Which was on top of the high, built in bench in the basement. What could go wrong?

Esther hasn't walked since. But, her foot doesn't hurt as bad as it did the day of the accident. The doctor told Susan we could wait a few days before getting an x-ray. My best guess is she has a green-stem fracture in her foot somewhere and will need a cast for a little while.

Today, when I got home, Esther stated matter-of-factly, "I found out why Rachel broke my foot. ... She wasn't thinking."

Moving on to dryers.

Uncle Hank

I went to my Uncle Hank's funeral today. To be more precise, he is my Great Uncle Hank: His wife, Virginia, is my Grandma Vera's little sister. To be even more precise, today was technically his interment, but his children read his life sketch again, his sister Joyce spoke and others were invited to share memories, so it took a long time and seemed like a full funeral to me.

Hank was a valiant fellow. You may remember him at Grandma Vera's funeral. I don't know if you remember Hendrik's Story about his early life or not. When Nazi Germany invaded Holland, he was young. His strongly Christian family hid a Jewish family and was part of the Dutch Underground. Hank ran errands for them without explanation and without knowing what he was doing, so if he was caught he could honestly say he didn't know anything.

Susan's wedding ring diamond is one that he brought to the United States when he emigrated. He joined the church after his mother and sister did (and after his father's death, who died from complications from starvation during the occupation). He was fiercely patriotic, and loved the freedoms this country offered. He was very funny, and I loved talking to him when I was young.

Safety Schmafety

No one, and I mean no one, tells me what I can or cannot do:

Gun Safety

More from Enoch, pontificating on the question "How can I take care of the earth?" :

Why Camping Is Fun

More from Enoch, revealing more about his mental state than I want to know:

Terrifying Insects (Verb or Adjective?)

Mom brought up the word "magnify" in an FHE lesson a while back and asked Esther what a magnifying glass did. She hesitated.

"What if you looked at a bug with it? What happens?"

"It burns it."

Lesson destroyed.

1st graders make a butterfly every year, and it sounds like Enoch's could really use a magnifying glass. Check out his write up of it:

A Potato Walks Into a Bar ...

... and all eyes were on him!

You're welcome!

Well, I haven't sent anything for quite a while. If you care, I apologize. There is some good stuff to relate.

I will send a few emails / blog posts. But, I will start with some basic news that may be of interest.

Uno: Rachel tested into the Spectrum program at school, and will start in 6th grade with Ms. Lloyd. Yay! She is super smart but never tested very high, perhaps because she seemed to be in a hurry and not pay attention. This time she not only passed but passed with a nearly perfect score. I hope she loves it.

"Think of a Problem"

In Africa, Sister Nelson said: "Think of a problem. What eternal laws govern that problem? What eternal laws need to be followed to receive the needed blessing?" What a simple yet profound approach to our struggles and application on the gospel and atonement of Jesus Christ. 

The Theurer's posted on their blog the Prophet's visit to Zimbabwe, and I highly recommend you flip through the notes, quotes and pictures.

Another gem from Elder Holland, who accompanied the Prophet: "Learn to be righteous in the dark." Beautiful.

President Nelson has some good quotes, too! Enjoy!

Once Upon A Mattress Rehearsal

These were taken yesterday, apparently. I don't see Lucy in this one, but Waldo is obvious.

A Neutron Walks Into a Bar ...

... and the bartender exclaims "for you, no charge!"

The electron objects, "That's not fair!"

"You're so negative!" shoots back the bartender.

The neutron is embarrassed to have caused a ruckus. The positron next to the neutron assures him that all is as it should be.

"Are you certain?" asks the neutron?

"I'm positive."